1895

The result of my “going out” with Dora has been solved tonight. I have promised her to be her bridegroom as soon as it will be possible for me to be engaged properly. But what an obscure feeling I have felt when I have pronounced these words “That is what I can only promise you, when the time will come when I will be able to be engaged I will be engaged to you not to another one. If you want to wait till this time so you have no need to look for another man you will be mine”. I felt as if I would sacrifice myself and immediately I have regretted why I did not delay with this pronunciation still longer. But what is the reason that this pronunciation has put me in such an obscure position. Is she not worth to be my bride, my wife? Yes, she is worth to be my wife. She is the girl of the best character of all the girls I know. The whole time I know her she has never been capricious, proud to anybody or quarrelsome.